Boldly Breaking Through

  “She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”                                                                                                                       ~Unknown Midlife has me living as though there will never be enough time! I have a new wildness to my spirit, and a fire in my belly. I’m in eager anticipation for all the chapters I’ve yet to live. My midlife mojo is definitely fierce and feisty. I’m embracing each and every dance step already mastered, letting these guide me gracefully forward. If you are here reading this, I’m guessing you get it. You know this period in life can be experienced from a state of flow — of courageously staying tapped in to what you have come to know and understand. There’s no need to push. Simply being you feels inspirational. You continue to grow. You appreciate that personal evolution occurs one aligned step at a time. And you are deeply grateful of the gift of your power to choose each and every one. Perhaps you’re intent on manifesting magnificence, and your very own unique midlife mojo pulls you gently in this direction. If you are here reading this, I bet you’re a multi-dimensional woman dedicated to setting standards of excellence in, and for, your life. You know your inherent capacity to be magnetic. You long for, and are committed to, crafting full-blown poetic resonance between your desires and the active steps you’ll take to bring them to fruition. Is This You? Have fun with me here, reader! Let your imagination have full reign. A visionary midlife woman is ready to take her life to new, unprecedented heights! She is deeply committed to releasing all that no longer serves her in order to bring even more of her essence, talents, and genius forward. This woman’s personal renaissance and life-force are fueled by dynamically embracing her radiant, sensual, sexy, divine feminine energy and spirit. ...

2022 has been upon us for a few months, and now we begin to welcome spring. The simple forward turning of clock hands comes with an opportunity for a brilliant turn of mind or heart. Time for your fresh start, your new beginning! Heck, why not just let the beautiful dawn break you wide open? Let this year be your playground for massive personal expansion. Rather than asking what the coming months will bring, stand with conviction for what you will bring to your year! Actually, at any moment, one can opt to start fresh or begin again. Mini-rebirths are always possible. You can take a different path, a next step. You can edit or delete what you mistakenly just said the second before. You can cancel out that negative self-talk. You can course-correct. You can change it up. Remember to flex these muscles, my friend. At the same time, it’s the official ringing-in of spring that can anchor fresh starts in big ways. Possibilities are endless for crisp new challenges and opportunities. We simply need to choose. It’s this reality — our capacity for conscious thought, conscious decision-making, and our ability to control or alter the thoughts we opt to think — that make us truly miraculous beings. So remember this fact this month. That’s likely when the doldrums might hit — when, perhaps, you suddenly realize you’ve fallen off course from those delicious intentions you set while toasting in the new year. Simply shift back into your lane of choice! Rejuvenation For me, this time of year also signals a time of rejuvenation where I can ask myself, how might I bring new vigor and vitality to my life or my dreams? Checking in with yourself about what you wish to restore or renew in your life can be a powerful inquiry. Fresh perspectives and opportunities will ...

I created my life coaching practice the same way I’ve done just about everything in my life: by trusting my intuition and taking one inspired step after the next. I embrace and navigate these steps, never quite knowing where they will lead, yet fully confident that if I trust myself and honor my heart, intuitive nudges, and inner wisdom, I’ll land well. I’m delighted to say that establishing my coaching practice, starting my Midlife Magnificence Programs for women, and founding Ann Arbor’s Life Empowerment Coaching & Healing Arts Center have felt like intoxicatingly blissful landings thus far. Even as a very young child, I was intrigued and fascinated by people. I sensed that there was always more going on behind each and every gesture, comment, or expression. I was mesmerized by the myriad ways people connect and communicate (or don’t!). My veracious curiosity first drove me to take personal development courses in high school, then led to my undergraduate degree in psychology and a Master of Social Work degree program from the University of Michigan, and then to my coaching certification through the International Coach Academy. My career as an inpatient and outpatient therapist for adolescents, adults, and couples lasted for 25 years, until life challenges called me toward a new and extremely exciting direction. Challenges Open Opportunities Prior to my work as a therapist and life coach, I had also experienced my own personal therapy journey. Severe depression and anxiety haunted me at certain points in my life. Hard and frequently painful, yet eye-opening, sessions in therapy helped me better cope with and alleviate distressing symptoms, but I was far from complete. What led and inspired me to pursue a now 15-year coaching career was the powerful realization that feeling emotionally well did not automatically result in living a life I loved. A healthy mind ...

Let’s talk about love! Even the best intimate relationships can benefit from a reboot every now and again. Within my marriage, comfort, confidence, and joy happen most easily when I visualize my husband and myself from an “ever-evolving” perspective. Together, I frequently remind myself, we are in the process of cultivating an even more delicious, heart-expansive, empowered partnership. The key here is the concept of in the process, for when we are in the process of something we are always growing. There’s plenty of room for imperfections because it’s a process. Being in a process is about being in the state of possibility — keeping infinite possibilities open! Seeing our relationship as an ongoing work-in-progress serves to keep us pleasurably in the game. We’re more able to stay dedicated to our growth as a couple. We consistently and deliberately put forth effort for the good of the relationship. A marriage — or any relationship, actually — is built and maintained simply by stringing moment after moment together. How’s that for keeping it simple? My husband and I are a perfectly imperfect duo, enjoying a great (although sometimes bumpy) ride through our days together. Below, I’ll share a few ingredients that compose our secret success sauce. Perhaps you can add our recipe to what you and your favorite person are already doing. When those embers cool, fresh air, new ideas, and creative juices help make sparks of passion and pleasure fly again. Of course, do remember that the tools and strategies I’m about to outline can be beautifully applied to all relationships — your relationship with yourself, a friend, a child, or other family members. Reboots are valuable across the spectrum and can powerfully enhance any and all connections. Trust Fuels the Treasures For me, the number one ingredient for a rich, intimate connection is trust. Cultivating trust is ...

If you’re desiring a quick trick to manifest your heart’s longings — to live what really matters to you — read on! The secret is contained in your daydreams, my friend. Daydreams are those thoughts, fantasies, or dream-like images and musings that cross our minds repeatedly as we go about our daily activities. All too frequently, we view these colorful ideas as interruptions to our train of thought. We write off our daydreams as silly distractions interfering with what we have to do. Often, we flat-out ignore our daydreams. Bad idea — they reveal rich, intuitive wisdom. Our daydreams take many forms. They can be elaborate stories you weave for yourself, or a song you keep hearing in your mind. Or maybe you have recurring simple images you can’t shake, like seeing yourself riding in a convertible with the top down and the wind wildly blowing your hair. Always be on the lookout for daydreams popping up in multiple creative ways! Be Ever-Mindful Your daydreams are the remnants of your essential self that you’re being called upon to reclaim. Listen carefully to these soul-whispers and the crucial messages they contain. Each and every element of your daydreams reveal a treasure worthy of being mined — worthy of being contemplated. I always encourage my coaching clients to be very appreciative and respectful of each passing daydream, to slow down and listen. In simply noting and reflecting on the dream’s content, you’re gifted valuable information that can lead you back home to yourself and to a happier, more satisfying life. From Disconnection to Integration I believe we all know, at our core, what we value, long for, and need. Yet amid the craziness of our action-packed, fast-moving, busy lives — filled-to-overflowing with more doing than feeling — we can become emotionally disconnected from ourselves. We end up feeling frazzled and unmoored from our ...

The powerful energy of community has saved me during these challenging times. Perhaps it has for you as well? What a blessing, the many forms of belonging I’ve recently had the privilege to experience — from rich professional and neighborhood rendezvous to the online Midlife Magnificence Facebook group I created, I’ve managed to relish the soothing, satisfying balm of us humans meaningfully coming together. They’ve been times richly-laden with the sharing of stories, struggles, support, and successes. Miraculous things have occurred during these beautiful, simple moments of connection. Author Brene Brown once shared a story about a village where all the women would go down to the river to wash clothes together. When they all got washing machines, there was an outbreak of depression because of the absence of doing things together. It was the absence of community. I believe in the magic of community, and the cozy comfort it offers, as an experience worth pursuing in as many forms as possible. Community matters, especially as we navigate times of increased isolation, because these times can also merge into periods of acute loneliness. We are wired for connection. We long to belong. When we have such, we are all the better for it. Our hearts, minds, and souls are fed. This is because thriving happens in community. We feel seen, heard, and understood. Perhaps too frequently, our desire to feel like a valuable part of a group remains unconscious until we find our special community. Experiencing this ignites awareness of how much we’ve missed and needed it. We discover with great delight the personal impact of being part of a group. There’s truly nothing better than the energy of inclusion and of developing meaningful relationships. Communing for Pleasure I’m writing this piece the morning after a deeply satisfying evening spent on my front porch with two of my neighbors. As ...

  Dear reader: If I were to guess, I’d bet that the experience of the pandemic has shed new light some aspect of your one truly precious life. It’s a present worth unpacking. Let me untie the ribbons of this unexpected gift for you here. Clarity is, by definition, “the quality or state of being clear.” Clarity is the direct manifestation of our being in full alignment with ourselves. It’s the result of a lot of momentum with no resistance. To me, clarity signifies inspired right action following deep reflection. Gaining clarity is like being carried by a gentle flow downstream. There’s absolutely no current to fight. The feeling of certainty lights you up from the inside out. Slowed Time Brings Refinement Navigating the pandemic has been a multifaceted experience, to say the least. And for many of us, it has included a gradual slowing of time. This occurred naturally as restrictions kept us closer to home, enabling us to take pause from our worldly routines. For me, slowed time presents an opportunity to clear out the clutter of my heart and mind — the perfect pause, a time for reflection. Slowing down brings peace, order, and focus. I’m able to reconnect with myself. Within the gift of spaciousness these COVID-times offered, perhaps you’ve contemplated what feels especially meaningful and good. Maybe you zeroed in on specific desires or new pursuits of interest. Most likely, refinement in one or another area of your life has been the result. Chances are you’re living more connected to the heart of what truly matters to you. COVID has indeed been our teacher. The lessons offered have resulted in individuals adopting new habits, rituals, and rhythms in their life. New learnings open us to greater consciousness. With this awareness, we become even more compelled to explore fresh paths and new ways of being. As the ...

Seek and release all that is in the way. ~Rumi Let’s jump right in with the big question: What’s in your way, dear friend, on your path to even greater evolution? May this be your starting point of inquiry. Coach with me, and I’ll probably ask you this question, in some form or another, early on. This is because I believe we must release to evolve! To reveal even more of your unique essence, one must break free of unhelpful patterns, people, routines, thoughts, or feelings, and step into the full truth of who you are. Sadly, it seems, we often focus so much on things in our life not being better that we can’t let go and simply allow ourselves to remain stuck. Now breathe. Feel into that for a sweet, contemplative moment. It’s true, isn’t it? We sometimes care way too much about our disappointments, and hyper-focus energy there. We do this rather than concentrate on what we desire to generate in our lives. Disappointment locks you into the past. The ticket to growth and evolution includes the invitation to let go of, release, or get over that which has brought disappointment. Doing so jump-starts a momentum in the direction of what you desire. Forms of Letting Go So, what are you called to release? Do you seek to let go of elements of your past? Of a toxic relationship? Of control? Of anger? Of resistance? Of a painful experience? Of someone you love? Of a prized possession? Of an uncomfortable thought? The opportunities are endless, the growth potential enormous. Letting go, I’ve discovered, is the first essential step to transforming any chosen aspect of yourself or your life. Knowing what you don’t want puts you all the closer to what you long for. One of my favorite teachings that highlights this idea can be found in the ...

What if you had a nifty little treasure chest of magical words you could reach for to help smooth over all those rough conversational edges you experience in relationships? Ta-da! You’ve come to the right place. For contained right here, in this article, is my prize collection. Mind you, it’s not just any collection, but rather one that has been tried, tweaked, tested, and proven true — numerous times. My husband can definitely testify to such. Words have the power to fuel or destroy our relationships. The art of choosing the right words is essential in decreasing conflict and increasing connection. Talking is one thing. Conversation is another. A truly meaningful conversation has the ability to calm and stabilize one’s heart and brain. A destructive conversation, on the other hand, can trigger a flash flood of cortisol and adrenaline in the body. Stressed individuals will seek to protect and defend themselves. Either way, our words have an impact — for better or worse. A rich, five-star conversation, to me, is one of listening without judgement, speaking without criticism, and connecting with compassion and empathy. Easy to say, not always easy to do. Yet conversations, when done well, allow us to connect beyond our differences. For me, that’s a key intention. The words we use, as well as the style in which we utter them — our tone, reading of cues, and even the timing of our pauses — are all such elements that play significant roles in the outcome of a diamond-delicious discussion. Best Intentions Imagine yourself coming to your partner or a dear friend with the best of intentions for a meaningful conversation about a hard topic. There’s a lot to keep in mind. For starters, remember you are both wired differently, with unique psychological backgrounds, personal histories, and relational competence levels. Given ...

At the heart of my coaching practice is my dedication to helping people get unstuck so they can be unstoppable, and really see their lives soar. Moving your life forward to a place of such freedom that you experience the exhilaration of soaring is no small thing. I believe it’s a possibility for everyone. Let’s consider, and celebrate here, all the mechanisms and forces that enable one to move in this direction of rich personal expansion. We all desire this. It’s inherently part of our life force — this longing for growth and expression of our pure potentiality. Yet, despite this draw, many of us humans on this planet often feel stuck. Over the course of my lifetime, there have been more moments than I can count when I’ve felt it — the quagmire of deadlock in the exact instant I desire its opposite. Therefore, I’ve made it my mission to study this phenomenon, determined to learn a few secrets about how to release oneself from such states. I’ll share them with you here. Goals That Aren’t Manifesting Do you ever find yourself puzzling over why a goal or intention you’ve set for yourself — one you deeply desire — isn’t happening no matter what you’ve tried? Bummer indeed. This reality is actually what brings most of my coaching clients into my practice. These individuals are dedicated to growth and change for themselves, yet can’t quite unlock the missing pieces to making key things that they long for happen. Invariably, we discover that the reason they’re stuck is because they’re still under the press of a subconscious old story or false belief. It’s as simple as that! Knowing this, however, is only the beginning of the release process, for these old stories run deep. Their hold over us quite frequently intense and tenacious. The cost of ...

In anticipation of my wedding anniversary, it’s time for my annual deep-dive relationship reflection time. I’m still feeling the exhilaration of a second marriage — it’ll be six years with my beloved this July. I’m determined to continue bringing my best self to him — this sweet, caring husband of mine — in as many moments as possible. With that intention in mind, I’ve made it a priority to regularly devote time to considering how to keep my marriage in tip-top form. Or, perhaps most importantly, to discovering how to keep myself in tip-top form! Nourish Yourself The first key to nourishing a great relationship is to first nourish yourself. Concentrate, my friend, on tending to your personal garden of delights. Feed your soul exactly what it needs by way of little loving practices to support the essence of who you are and who you desire to become. Take time to lovingly feed your own spirit. Take time to grow. Know what matters to you, and focus there. This type of self-care is essential if you long to bring your best self to a partnership. We can only meet another to the degree that we have met ourselves. For instance, if your physical health is a priority, tend to it by getting regular exercise and enjoying rich, nutrient-dense foods. Or, as another example, make it a practice to deliberately cultivate your personal interests. Devote time to things you relish, such as creative pursuits or intellectual explorations. In this way, you can be generative in your partnership, bringing to it offerings such as your wisdom, talents, or enhanced emotional awareness. Knowing your specific personal boundaries is essential to self-nourishment as well as for a healthy relationship. Boundaries protect our values and our precious time. It’s super advantageous to know what’s important to you, and to be ...

Ah, the experience of pure pleasure. You know the feeling; when you’re in it, it can be so divine. You drop down from awareness of your thoughts into a yummy experience in your heart and body — perhaps with a subtle, delicious buzz or tingle. You tune in there. It rounds you out and smoothes over all your rough edges. You feel more complete. More vibrantly alive. More open to the flow of life within and around you. Pleasure, my friend, in all its many forms, is the key to deepening your connection with yourself and others. It can be a game-changing, guiding force in your existence. I came to this realization only after having lived more outside a state of pleasure than within it for way too long. My intention here is to shorten your journey. I’ll muse about why I now completely, absolutely, and unapologetically prioritize pleasure in my life. It has proven to be my new inspirational go-to! True uplifting comes from taking back your pleasure-power. I’m referring here not only to the power of your good thoughts or actions, but also the power of deeply embodying the joy you discover when experiencing a moment of pleasure. Allowing yourself to thrive in emotional states that bring you happiness, or a sense of lightness-of-being, are the best gifts you can give yourself and to others. To embody such a feeling of deep satisfaction — meaning to be an expression of, or give tangible form to — is bound to lift everyone’s spirits to unprecedented heights. So I invite you to be extremely intentional. Make a commitment to, and focus on, elevating pleasure in your life. Slow Down and Feel One way I’ve realized how to experience more pleasure is by slowing down. When I can stop what otherwise might become incessant motoring — both ...