#pleasure Archives - Life Empowerment Coaching

Pleasure As Your North Star

May 6, 2021 // by Maria Sylvester

Ah, the experience of pure pleasure. You know the feeling; when you’re in it, it can be so divine. You drop down from awareness of your thoughts into a yummy experience in your heart and body — perhaps with a subtle, delicious buzz or tingle. You tune in there. It rounds you out and smoothes over all your rough edges. You feel more complete. More vibrantly alive. More open to the flow of life within and around you.

Pleasure, my friend, in all its many forms, is the key to deepening your connection with yourself and others. It can be a game-changing, guiding force in your existence.

I came to this realization only after having lived more outside a state of pleasure than within it for way too long. My intention here is to shorten your journey. I’ll muse about why I now completely, absolutely, and unapologetically prioritize pleasure in my life. It has proven to be my new inspirational go-to!

True uplifting comes from taking back your pleasure-power. I’m referring here not only to the power of your good thoughts or actions, but also the power of deeply embodying the joy you discover when experiencing a moment of pleasure. Allowing yourself to thrive in emotional states that bring you happiness, or a sense of lightness-of-being, are the best gifts you can give yourself and to others.

To embody such a feeling of deep satisfaction — meaning to be an expression of, or give tangible form to — is bound to lift everyone’s spirits to unprecedented heights. So I invite you to be extremely intentional. Make a commitment to, and focus on, elevating pleasure in your life.

Slow Down and Feel

One way I’ve realized how to experience more pleasure is by slowing down. When I can stop what otherwise might become incessant motoring — both mental and physical — and pause, positive things always happen. In the pause, I allow myself to breathe and then really tune into that breath. Noticing the movement there helps me center. Next, I can more easily shift my focus from my mind or what I’ve been doing to how I’m feeling.

Release Resistance

Registering your own energy or vibration is all that’s ever truly under your control. So, I next suggest that you try to take satisfaction in releasing any resistance to whatever stands in your way of feeling pleasure. Become conscious of those false, negative, or problematic beliefs and banish them. Maybe you have resistance around the belief that work comes before play, or a haunting recall of parental prohibitions against enjoying yourself. Maybe it’s your own critical, judgmental voice echoing in the background, or societal training emphasizing the need to always drive yourself to success.

Pleasure, on the other hand, is such a triumphant position. You may find yourself in hot pursuit of it, especially after reading this article. It can be absolutely exhilarating to witness how energetic you become when there are no obstacles to experiencing pleasurable states. So check in with your body. Think less and feel more. How is your body responding to an instance of pure bliss? Do you have goosebumps? An urge to dance? A long sigh of relief? There is a ton of valuable information here. And do note, my friend, that a relaxed body and nervous system offers a much stronger foundation for moving forward — an offer you must not refuse!

The opposite of this, of course, is discovering how your world can be unfavorably rocked when you’re not embracing good feeling states. For instance, when not in your highest pleasure, you may be more easily upset. You might be quickly triggered, or feel insecure. On the other hand, celebrating yourself or another person happens more freely when you’re independently thriving. I bet you have experienced this phenomenon.

Harness Your Creativity

To feel internally enlivened is to feel the glorious energy of creation. I believe we are each called to cultivate ways to take responsibility for our authentic pleasure. One such path is to awaken and strengthen your imagination. There is a well-spring of creative impulses within each and every one of us. Deliberately tapping into your imagination empowers you, permitting opportunities for personal expression and growth. Imagining what you desire to create and bring forth, using all your senses, can’t help but leave you feeling more invigorated and alive.

Sexual Pleasure Holds Keys Too

Appreciating the main ingredients for enhanced sexual pleasure and playfulness can also teach us ways to curate pleasure outside of the bedroom. Again, the ability to drop out of your head and into your body is key. Sensual awareness and the capacity to lose oneself to ripples of pulsating, building sensations heightens sexual, as well as day-to-day, pleasure. Diving deep into savoring the sensations that arise in your body at all times helps spark pleasures of all kinds!

Our bodies are wired to be highly reliable vehicles for joy, if only we allow ourselves to ride the waves. Floating luxuriously there, tuning in to every inhale (feminine energy) and exhale (masculine energy) fuels the magic. This juicy life-force is with us at all times. One only needs to remain self-aware, observe, listen, and let each and every mouthwatering moment move with and through you.

Lasting Perks

And so, my friend, can you see how connecting with what brings you pleasure then connects you more meaningfully with yourself? As an added perk, the more you connect with yourself, the better you’ll be able to build understanding and a richness-of-being with another.

So take a minute now and ask yourself: what brings you pleasure? What needs, desires, values, or sense of purpose light you up completely from the inside out? Set a compass in the direction of the pleasure forces and experiences you want guiding your life — your north star. Recognize the key elements of your unique pleasure principle; this will help you better align there.

Then, look out and get ready. Your life, I promise you, will break open in some pretty incredible ways once you truly harness the power of pleasure as your north star. A sense of personal expansiveness and empowerment will follow. Maybe even some giggles.

This article was also shared in The Brick Magazine

If Pleasure Was a Sport…

June 14, 2020 // by Maria Sylvester

If pleasure was a sport, would you practice it?

To get good at most anything takes practice. Sports are one example of this. Many of us eagerly take this challenge on, especially if the sport we are interested in playing really matters to us. We commit time, energy, and focus to developing and enhancing both our muscles and our skill levels. Dedicating yourself to practicing and mastering a sport you value feels wonderful as you witness your talent and endorphins grow exponentially.

The art of experiencing and cultivating deep pleasure in your life offers similar delicious rewards. Especially in these challenging times of COVID-19, global upheaval, the fight for social justice, and protests against the evils of racism, our nervous systems have been rocked to the core. One way back to home to yourself — to grounding and regulating body, mind, and spirit — is to focus on what will make you feel good. We must tend lovingly to what brings us joy.

We have a responsibility to gently work with ourselves, doing whatever we can to release the painful, mind-numbing states that can grip us in times of acute stress. These states, for instance, of emotional blunting or emotional overload cause us to pull away from pleasure and joy. Positive emotions, on the other hand, can favorably impact immunity, resilience, and one’s overall state of well-being. Just as exercise can trigger the release of morphine-like chemicals in the body that help diminish pain and lift our mood, so can cultivating activities that bring us pleasure. Sexually active people have fewer sick days — just saying!

Own Your Wanting

First things first, then. You must own your wanting. Is it really is okay, many wonder, to go after that which you desire? Often we doubt or distance from this notion. Or we feel undeserving or selfish, especially when, for example, we know so many have suffered or are still suffering around the world. How am I worthy of happiness amid tragedy and despair? How are you not, I echo! Yet, it can be such a struggle. I believe it’s essential, however, to give yourself permission to want and to seek uplifting, comforting experiences. So ponder it. Consider what it is you crave or long for. Embrace yourself there.

Choosing, cultivating, and prioritizing pleasure can be challenging. It often necessitates digging deep, as well as pushing past long-held conscious or subconscious prohibitions. Many of us, it seems, grew up hearing fierce messages mandating self-sacrifice, self-abandonment, work-before-play, or attention on others-before-self. Not exactly the most fertile emotional ground for harvesting pleasures.

Fear not — the initial step in practicing this sport is simply imagining or day-dreaming about what would feel good or freeing to you. Notice where the energy rises in your body as you imagine possibilities. Stretch those joy-muscles to full capacity. How often, really, do we stop and reflect on what would bring us pleasure?

As a coach, I’ve discovered that for many of us, there is an abundance of un-mined gold to be dug up when it comes to personal delights and fancies. So begin now! Launch an internal search. Set your sights high. Your well-being depends on it!

Ask yourself, what is it that I long for? What is it that I really love? Take whatever time you need to figure this out. Then own it. Affirm it. Issue an exquisite stamp of self-approval on your discovery. Start small. Then imagine bigger and grander possibilities. Harness more and more pleasure in your life by awakening all your senses. Ask yourself what would be uniquely delightful in this moment? A nap? A bath? A bite of chocolate? The scent of lavender? A juicy burger? A lover’s caress? A quiet walk in nature? An intimate conversation? All of the above? Trust that by owning your desire for these simple pleasures, you are taking a step in the direction of feeling more alive, present, and whole again.

Now Practice

After identifying and owning your wanting, allow yourself time to practice developing mastery of this sport. A rich sense of fulfillment is directly correlated with one’s capacity to significantly honor and seize opportunities to step fully into joyful experiences. Making a point of daily tending to practicing pleasure keeps us in touch with authentic positive feelings. Then just watch this familiarity and deep knowing of what you enjoy grow, as will your muscle-memory for it, through repetition. When we can embody routines and rhythms that feel uplifting and regularly commit to practicing activities that bring joy, we open to our full humanness.

Repeatedly and consistently staying aware of, and saying yes to, your desires is incredibly empowering. This kind of dedication spotlights our worthiness, offering so much more than fleeting moments of enjoyment that happen by chance. Setting an intention to infuse your days with pleasurable moments you have carefully crafted automatically lifts your life and spirit to new heights. You become all the more in touch with your heart and with what is truly significant and meaningful. So go ahead, flex those joy-muscles! As your positive vibes rise, you’ll feel Olympic-ready for whatever life calls you to endure. Pleasure graces and buffers us that way.

Meet Yourself Anew

Just as athletes excitedly witness their strength, skill sets, and bodies transform as the result of hours of dedication and practice, so can you witness a rebirth or awakening of unique aspects of yourself as you open to the gifts of pleasure in your life. The uninhibited joy that oozes from experiences of pleasure helps temper harsh negative internal voices, calms us in times of stress, pain or sorrow, and serves as a soothing balm against negative external forces.

Pleasure moments are moments of high energetic vibration. If you keep yourself vibrating there, you become more in touch with your higher self and true nature. Your sense of struggle will lessen, your emotional availability will rise ( toward both yourself and others), your fatigue and lethargy will lift, and your sense of clarity, confidence, and hope will soar.

In pleasure states, notice how you feel more self-aware, empathetic, creative, emotionally balanced, and more connected to yourself, others, and nature as a whole. Engaging regularly in pleasurable moments definitely helps them multiply. Pleasure breeds synchronicities as we notice the interconnectedness of it all. And so, my friends, meet yourself there. Unabashedly. Create and step into a flow of joy and positivity in this -your one, sweet, precious life!

This article was also published in The Brick Magazine